it's jokes
Your hairline's so bent, it goes west, east, north, and south!
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
ASIANS>!?!?!?
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.
A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?
Beat It.
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.