it's jokes
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
yes do not forget
Life is like a penis, women make it hard.
Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
Why is it so difficult to watch hentai?
They moan louder than your speakers.
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.