it's jokes

What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.

I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.

What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?

America's Funniest Home Videos.

My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?

I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!

I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"

I made a website for orphans.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.

"Why is it that orphans only play tennis?""That's the only love they can get..."

Teacher: Where's your homework?

Student: At home...

Teacher: What's it doing there?

Student: Having a better time than me.

I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...

Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?

Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.

So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.

A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."

A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"

What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.

Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."

It's better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum.

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.