it's jokes

Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.

Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.

Why couldn’t people use the George Floyd action figure? Because it was vacuum sealed.

Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?

It's called "One More Thyme."

I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.

At every funeral, it's a try-not-to-say-"big mood"-challenge for me.

Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.

Guy: I don't, I see your mom.

Why can’t the blind man find love?

It’s called love at first sight.

Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?

How do you fit 4 gay dudes on a stool?

Flip it upside down.

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.

Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.

Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."

Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."

Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.

One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.

Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two; 1 to screw it in, and the other to suck my dick.

If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.

I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.

Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?

It was quite a shocker.

Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.