Intimacy jokes
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
Masturbation is better than rough sex.
Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
What did the first guy say to the second? Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
I want a relationship.
*Masturbates*
I don't want a relationship.
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
My woman told me that she wants to have sex with me, and I said, "Let's go at it." She said, "Shut up and kiss me on all my pillows."
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.