Intimacy jokes
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
Why do men lick girls' boobs in sex?
'Cause they are just boys.
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.
I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.
What happened when you put your penis in? You start cumming!
Want to have sex?
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My I.
May I who?
May I put this pussy on your mouth?
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).
Sex is like show and tell: you show your pussy and dick, and then you tell each other how you feel.
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie. Your other brothers can't deny that she's fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half black. But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F. 'Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain't a chef. And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But if I were you, I wouldn't kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I'll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She's so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess. I didn't wanna tell you, but I had to write this song 'Cause I'm in your house every night doin' your mo-om.
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.