What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.
The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."
Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.
What's funny about sex? I don't get it!
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
If I had a garden, I would put your tulips against my tulips... 🌷
