Intimacy jokes
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.
Memes
Very fine
Roses are red.
Grass is green.
I think of you sucking my peen.
Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
Sex is like show and tell: you show your pussy and dick, and then you tell each other how you feel.
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?
I don't have a girlfriend.
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️