Intimacy jokes
What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?
My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.
Knock, knock.
*takes out penis*
Who is there?
Butthole 😎
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
"Fuck me."
That's what she said.
Very fine
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
I want to cream, rn.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.
Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.
But she has to. She's his mom.
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?
A blowjob is anonymous.
If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.
If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
You're so hot when your girlfriend tries to suck your cock, it burns her mouth.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"