Intimacy jokes

What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.

She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.

What is a queef?

Something your mum did in bed last night. 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️

What is the difference between anal and oral sex?

Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak.

Knock, knock.

*takes out penis*

Who is there?

Butthole 😎

How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?

Pour bleach on it.

Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?

'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.

What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?

My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.

A condom!

Are you a haunted house?

Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.

I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.

Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.

What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.

You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.