Intimacy jokes

I bet your hairline goes inside your private part, and your girlfriend can’t even touch it.

Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.

My girlfriend's name is Candice.

Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

What is the difference between chocolate and sex?

I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.

Masturbation is better than rough sex.

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”

What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.

How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?

Spit, spit, spit!

Roses are red, Violets are fine, You be the 6, I'll be the 9. 😏

Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"

When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?

I want to cream, rn.

Do you like Imagine Dragons?

Imagine draggin' my balls on your face.

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.