Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
Ok, there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now. Whoever that is, wanna chat? (I'm just bored)
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
A depressed kid tried to give a tree a high-five, but the tree left him hanging.
Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.
Like if your best friend is emo. *repost* or like if you have a best friend.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five.
It left him hanging.
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
I tried to high-five my emo friend, but he just left me hanging.
Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website.
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
