Interaction jokes

My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.

Women treat me like a god.

They ignore me till they need something.

Hi? Bye.

You are quite [something].

I was 11 or 12 at the time.

Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

Friend: Knock, knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Short.

Me: Short who?

Friend: Short you!

Me: 🙁

Friend: 🤣

Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing, so hope you enjoy, and you don't have to read this!

So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise, and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars, which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff, but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do, and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!

A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."

Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"

Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"

Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”

Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”

Knock knock. Who's there? You... You who? You smell like shit!

What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?

Soaked...

Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!

Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.

Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?

Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

There are two types of people, avoid them both.

The depressed kid tried to high five the tree.

But the tree left him hanging!

"Gwen, can we talk..."