Instead jokes
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
It would just be easier to be a gay guy, instead of a gender-fluid bisexual.
Lol, the Twin Towers ordered a drop in from Pizza Hut, but instead they got a hot and ready from Jet's.
The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."
Yo momma so slutty, she did a mukbang video with dicks instead of food.
My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.
The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
Why was the Pakistani bomber angry? Since he got a pepperoni instead of a plain [pizza].
11/9 is opposite day. The towers fall on the planes instead of 9/11, way.
Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
Beating the Akatsuki is easy... Naruto should've used painkillers instead. :)
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.