Instead jokes
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
The Twin Towers ordered a sesame bagel. They got the plane one instead.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
My wife told me, "Don't buy 1 gun while on your trip," so I decided to buy 2 guns instead.
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
It would just be easier to be a gay guy, instead of a gender-fluid bisexual.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
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ChEesE
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Community talk
Mal, my mother. Cosmo, my father. I'm so happy I have you in my life. I dont know what I would do without you. Sometimes I fear I'd be a bad mother because of my birth parents. Then I think of you two. Mal, your patience, caring, and understanding. Unlike my own mother, you'd be happy to feed into my hobbies, to let me write instead of hating on the topic I choose. You care for me, and I am forever grateful. Cosmo, y… Read more
As a comminuty, I know we hate alts. They spam pictures, they roleplay, they ARE indeed annoying. But do things need to be this way? Yes, we dont like the way the alts talk, but think about it, ALTS have changed throughout the history of wje. We ALL used to be an alt, even if we didn't roleplay, we didn't always fit in at first, but we came in a more accepting time. I'm not saying we should let alts be annoying and r… Read more
ima clock mrs fritzler dude. like sit your fattass down. don't give me that stank ass test mrs pizler. stupid hoe maybe go run a mile instead of giving me homework equivilent to your body weight. fattass. your hairline is more fucked up than the kid in a mental hospital fattass. i could see that 250 chin from a fucking plane 30000 feet in the hair. instead of giving me a lecture stop eating fucking mcdonalds. intead … Read more