INS jokes
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
I hated getting bullied in school because I could never stand up for myself.
Hey girl, are you a wizard? Because you cast lit in my Final Fantasy!
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Both can't see their parents.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""
"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"
Where did Lucy go in the bombing... Everywhere.
If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.
"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"
What goes in hard and comes out soft? A toothbrush.
Make an ugly face in 3, 2... STOP! OMG, STOP! EWWWWW! Oh wait, that’s your normal face.
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
What was the color of the wallpaper in the Twin Towers?
... plane.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.