INS jokes
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."
And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
My dad died in 9/11.
But he was the pilot.
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”