INS jokes

"I need to go to the doctor!"

"Why?"

"It has a crack in it."

What is the worst player in basketball? LeBron James.

Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.

The people in the World Trade Center ordered two pepperoni, but got two planes.

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

Being gay must be a pain in the ass.

Credit to omnom.

Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?

'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.

Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone? In my theater we had a standing ovation!

Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!

I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."

Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.

I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They can't see their parents.

Me in the middle of the night boiling water.

Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?

My brother: How?

Me: You boil the hell out of it.

You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.

What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"

Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.

Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.

For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.

In life you either yeet or get yeeted, or you beat or get beaten.

I guess I failed.

How did pioneers name Canada?

They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"

That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"