INS jokes

What do Jesus and a painting have in common?

They hang by nails.

Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?

I really hit the mother lode with you!

Why do orphans hate any milk?

Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧

I am sorry, but the joke is in Urdu, which I cannot process. Please provide the joke text in English.

I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"

Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."

What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?

Fitting it in.

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'

I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.

Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?

One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.

That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!

What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?

Christopher Reeves in a house fire.

A day in the life of a Biden voter.

$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.

No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.

$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.

50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.

No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.

Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.

New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.

Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.

Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.

Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.

How do you bury a prostitute?

In a Y-shaped coffin.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.

The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”

The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”

The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”

So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.

The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”

The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”

What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?

They both have eyes.