INS jokes
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
People in wheelchairs should really stand up for themselves!
What is the main group of teens in West Side Story?
New York Jets.
What don't Rick Astley and the Twin Towers have in common?
One won't let you down, while the other will.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
Dick in my mouth.
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."
I once put the Bible in the fiction section.
Who can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some are still in the air.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.
When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"
I breathe in African food.
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.
Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.
Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.
Where was your mom last night? In the man club?
What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?
My dad hates them both!
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.