INS jokes
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
What do you call a Taliban in a bath bomb?
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD
Why did the rapper start a gardening business?
He had mad ROOTS in the game.
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.
Why?
I don’t have a clue.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.