INS jokes
Maybe Soy Milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish! (Soy means "I am" in Spanish).
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
But apparently there is something in your heart, so I already have scissors in my heart.
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.
I wanna see this pic of me in a bra! Where do I find it?
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.
What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourself!
Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.
Who is the smartest student in school?
The scholar.
Which room is the safest place in the house?
The living room.
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."