INS jokes
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."
God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.