INS jokes
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
Meeting a girl at a park is good, but parking meat in girl is better.
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
What do you call a group of rappers waiting in line?
A rhyme queue.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants? Because they always get a hole in one!
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
The "d" in Africa stands for democracy...
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.