INS jokes
Transgenders! Men in disguise!
I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!
Yo mama is so fat, she was the iceberg in Titanic.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit in the living room!
Call me Willma, Will ma balls fit in ya mouth?
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.