INS jokes
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
What do you call a blowjob in Africa?
Breakfast.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.
In 2016, Americans took "Orange is the New Black" to a whole other level.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A RC-XD.
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
I’m about to tell you the funniest joke I heard:
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls emergency services. The operator then hears the problem and says, “Well, let’s make sure he’s dead.” A shot is then heard. The other guy says, “Ok, now what?”
Did you laugh?
Things said by racist aliens: "Some of my best friends are Green." "I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship." "You're very pretty for a Purple girl." "We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!" "Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people." "You 2-headed people are so stupid!" "No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes." "Get the hell out of my store you grigger!" "The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.
One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!
In a world bizarre, Penis burgers, strange delight, Tantalizing taste.
Buns shaped curiously, Meat, a bold centerpiece, Lingering delight.
Sizzling grill, they sizzle, Juicy secrets unfold, Hidden pleasures found.
Tempting, yet absurd, Controversial cuisine, Curiosity piques.
Daring, adventurous, Palates embark on a quest, Uncharted flavors.
But let us not dwell, On the phallic form they hold, For taste transcends all.
Beyond flesh-shaped buns, Flavors dance upon our tongues, A feast for senses.
So let us partake, In this culinary art, With open-minded hearts.
What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?
One kid in eight dustbins.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.