INS jokes

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.

Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.

Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

Students: Hiding under desk.

Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?

A bat.

Why are they called "breaking news" in the entire world?

Because they are breaking the whole entire news.

What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?

They both have a history of separating colors.

Fastest story readers are 9/11 victims.

They went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?

The apple actually gets picked.

Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.

ATTENTION EVERYBODY: I am the owner of this website, and I will be deleting it in 5 hours. Thank you everybody who has participated in this website's life. Goodbye!

Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!