INS jokes
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."
2001, Angry Birds was so amazing. Over 500 people in 2 birds.
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
Why was the picture in jail? Because it got framed!
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
How do you call a virgin girl in Alabama? An orphan.
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?
Because the principal was going to call his parents.
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.