INS jokes
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
At the library, I got in trouble for putting a cooking book in the women's section.
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?
... A boner.
What is a nut that is in outer space?
A broken nut.
What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...
1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
The "d" in Africa stands for democracy...
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.
"Racecar" spelled backwards is "racecar," but "racecar" sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Do you know what the "W" in Africa stands for? Water!
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.