INS jokes

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.

I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.

I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

Why are there so many black men in the NBA that only want to play basketball on a all black basketball team? because they prefer to suck a long and thick big black dick

What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...

Handy Andy.

Why is it that skinny men like fat women?

Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.

Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.

In fact, they hang with them!

Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.

What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?

They are both legless.

What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?

The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.

Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.

What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?

Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.

What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?

They both get a lot of crack.

My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.

Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.

What record did Obama prove during his presidency?

No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.