INS jokes
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
I got banned from the library because I put the woman's rights book in the fiction section.
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.