INS jokes

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"

Because he would have beef with Homelander.

I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?

Answer: They both hang.

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:

1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝

These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.

The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"

What do orphans and police not have in common?

The police can actually go home.

What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.

If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.

A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"

Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.