INS jokes
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?
Cows go moo.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
French fries weren't originally cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
Can orphans eat in a family restaurant?
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.