INS jokes
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?
"Are you ready for fall?"
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.
The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"
Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
Who are the fastest readers in the world? The 9/11 terrorists went through like 78 stories in 7 seconds.
I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
I have a trans friend.
He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.
But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.
I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do, ok.
And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support, unlike me, in which I don’t support it.