INS jokes

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?

All the exit signs were in English.

Elmo in 2022 is called "Tickle My Balls Elmo."

I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.

What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?

Hot Wheels.

What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?

The people in 9/11 were the fastest readers. They went through 10 stories in 10 seconds.

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

What do you call a friend in space?

Space friend.

Do you know what the F in Orphan stands for?

Family.

What do orphans and police not have in common?

The police can actually go home.

What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."