INS jokes
Bonjour all ;-) , nd here a frog ( French) joke lol.
Qui a inventé le mètre et qui a inventé le centimètre? (Who invented the meter, and who invented the centimeter?)
Answer: Adam à inventé le mêtre, parce qu'il voulait le (mettre) de dans... (Adam invented the meter because he wanted to put it in).
Eve à inventée le centimetre, parce qu'elle voulait, le sentir-metre (centimetre) Eve invented the centimeter, because she wanted to feel it when going in...
Why do they call it oven, when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?
What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?
..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
This is nothing to do with 9/11, but this is my best joke.
What do you call a Paki in a microwave?
Pting pting pting.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.
Why could you not see the guy in my dark closet?
The guy was black.
Americans: We drive on the right side of the road.
The British: We drive on the left side of the road.
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD. *crashing noises follow*