INS jokes
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.
OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car.
What did one orphan say to the other?
"GET IN THE BATMOBILE, ROBIN!"
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.
Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
Why is hangman always done in black ink?
To make it more realistic.
Why is it always cold in the hospital?
To keep the vegetables fresh.
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.
Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”
Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.