INS jokes
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
I like my girls like I like my wine.
12 years old and locked in my basement.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
What's white and comes in little cans?
Michael Jackson.
When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
Only in Ohio.