INS jokes

Mirror

    • Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?

    Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.

    Teacher

    • A note for my old English Teacher:

    Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...

    And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!

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    • Michael Jackson

    • There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

    What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

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    • INS memes

    Girl

    • In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she soon found herself homeless, begging for food or money to survive.

    She used to occupy a street next to a theater, not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her. Every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every Tuesday, just to keep her spirits up.

    One Tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange-looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story and decided to share his fortune.

    Gentleman: "I work as a magician in the touring show; today, we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate, but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin."

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    • Name

    • What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.

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    • Coin

    • A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"

    She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."

    Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"

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    • Nazi

    • Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

    They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

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    • Rabbit

    • So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.

    He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.

    Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"

    The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."

    The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.

    So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.

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