INS jokes
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
What goes up and down but stays in the same place?
Stairs.
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"
Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
I'm in the year 1930...
The Great Depression.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?
It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
What’s the most played song in Africa?
Have you ever seen the rain?
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many Cheetahs.
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.