INS jokes
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.