INS jokes

Why does Hitler hate golf?

He would end up in a bunker!

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"

"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.

What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?

Fur Traders.

Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.

Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.

I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.

I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️

How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?

Cheddar!

What did one orphan say to another orphan?

"Get in the batmobile, Robin!"

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.

But hay! It's in my jeans!

I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.

What do you call a pineapple in a pun?

A Puneapple.

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

What’s the speed limit in bed?

It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.

A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"

Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.

The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."

Dad: What did you learn in school today?

Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"