INS jokes
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.