INS jokes

How to escape your black school teacher in detention?

(Easy)

Turn off the lights!

What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?

They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.

Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.

If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.

My dad died in 9/11.

He was the best pilot I ever knew.

Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.

How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?

Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.

What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.

Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.

Why can't orphans eat chips?

Because they come in family size.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.

What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?

Father-in-law.

What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?

They both come on little white crackers.

"When is the best time to commit suicide?"

Ate a Glock in the morning.

Did you know I'm a really fast reader?

I can go through a few stories in just a few seconds!

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.

When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.

How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?

Claus-trophobic.

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"