INS jokes
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
What’s the most played song in Africa?
Have you ever seen the rain?
Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?
'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.
Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
I was in the bank one day, and this old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
Why did Joe Biden visit Hiroshima? Because the city has the hottest prepubescent girls in the world.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
Q: How do you see a bad joke?
A: Look in the mirror.
I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣