INS jokes
What's red, green, and goes 90 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
Why don't you fart in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have any Windows.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!
I was at an emotional wedding. The cake was in tiers.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
Victims of 9/11 are the fastest readers. They went through 94 stories in seconds.
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.