INS jokes
What's the difference between parking a car and finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody finds out.
What do me, emos, and Monster cans have in common?
A barcode.
The plane crashed. There are 5 seats in Bordeaux and usually 4 parachute seats.
The first song goes: "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the world, so fly with the first helmet."
One of Ivanka Trump's former supporters said: "I was the US President's teacher." And take an umbrella and fly.
Former US Secretary of State Donald Trump said: "I am the President of the United States. I am the president of the United States of America, not responsible to the people. Design our package and jump."
"I'm glad," said the next passenger, Popstag, as he approached. Then the boy explained: "I still can't see anyone's problem. The President of the United States is in my bag..."
I showed my family a few Charlie Kirk debates.
They called him a pain in the neck.
OK, bye.
Why is ten afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
I'm ashamed of some of the jokes I told that mocked disabled people.
So I threw in a couple racist ones to even it out.
Michael J. Fox goes in to get a haircut. He comes out missing an ear.
Michael J. Fox is rumored to be starring in the new Tremors sequel.
If Michael J. Fox was in the middle of an earthquake, would he know it?
The cemetery sure is overcrowded today.
I guess people are dying to get in.
Yo momma so ugly she scares herself when she looks in the mirror.
What starts with T, ends with T, and has T in it?
A teapot.
What’s the best way to stop diarrhea in India?
With a butt plug.
How many Indians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and wait for the British to come and do it.
What does a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both scrape the cheese out of the box for a nice snack.
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
What’s the most positive thing in Africa?
Their HIV test.
I thought Gastown was in Vancouver, not in Wilkie, Saskatchewan.
What do autistic kids and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms.
Ok, so let me tell y'all the lore. Basically, what happened was there's these mfs called Rhys and a guy named Mobrur. Mobrur is a fish basically from Bangladesh and Israel, so he's just a fish because he's Netanyahu's cousin, and Liam is from Australia; he's just a white piece of crap.
Basically, what happened was they knocked up each other because they were drunk and jumping on Netanyahu's beer belly, and it was all just a mess. Rhys is trying to get child support and half property from Fish, but he won't give it because he is nasty and claiming what isn't his, and he said, "No one likes you." So to summarize it, he killed him and is in jail now.
And there he met Mooha and he turned straight, Alhamdulillah! EVERYONE SAY ALHAMDULILLAH! He became straight, then Mooha got knocked up in prison and the guards beat them and they died.