INS jokes
You built like you in the 1980's!
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
Your hairline’s going backwards in Ohio.
Say Fentanyl 3 times in the mirror and you'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
What do trannies and jokes about them have in common?
Neither of them get old.
Tork Poettschke & Jack London walk down the street together. One asks the other, "May I stand in the middle?"
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
“Which tool,” Andrea Bocelli asks Chris Doemges, “fits best in the mailbox?”
Doemges: “Probably the flathead screwdriver!”
Beethoven to Chris Doemges: "What instrument do you play outside in the Arctic at -12 degrees Celsius?"
Doemges: "Probably the shiver..."
My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"