INS jokes
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.
Joe Mama's so fat, when she goes in the elevator, she has to go down.
Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
I got sent to the principal's office after telling the kid in the wheelchair to do a wheelie.
What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?
They both have no meaning.