INS jokes
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
What do you call a disabled person in a fire?
"HOT WHEELS!"
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice
I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.
“Who are the fastest readers in the world?”
“The 9/11 pilots, they did 30 stories in 7 seconds.”
Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.
What do you call an Afghanistan person in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?
Panera said.
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
This is a true fact, the letter "F" in orphan stands for family.
I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.
I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."