I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Okay, listen up, buttercup. The joke is that as you age, looking in the mirror is like checking the news because you're always gonna find something new and not-so-great about yourself. Wrinkles, gray hairs, you name it! It's like getting a daily dose of bad news, just on your face. Now go back to watching your cartoons, you silly goose!