INS jokes
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
I once masturbated in the bathroom.
I was looking for something, for a little help.
Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.
I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
What do orphans' parents have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
“In yo mama.”
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
Q: Why can't you tell 9/11 jokes in a comedy club?
A: They always crash and burn.
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.
What do Nemo and Emily's dad have in common? They both can't be found.
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
Wanna hear a joke?
Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')
Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.