Injury jokes
A man walks in a bar. Ouchie!
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?
He breaks his nose.
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.
I gave my friend some paper. It cut his wrists.
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
U die from robot bite.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.
Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
What has two legs and bleeds?
Half a cat.
A woman walks into a bar and says, "Ow!"