why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because its a battlefield
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell Shocked
Broke my toenail yesterday, I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
i met a girl that was 6-5 and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm, she really said ohh snap like a twin tower
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe
getting hurt is a bone breaking experience it's such a spine tingling event
“What happens to an Asian man when he runs into a brick wall with an erection?”
“A broken nose”
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
whats the fastest way to get to the hospital? stand in the middle of the road
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter? They both have torn rotators.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning. And my driver’s license got revoked too.
What heppened when the American broke his arm...
He went broke
why did the ball person go to the docter
He was kicked in the balls
Why did the director have a injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...a girl scout that got hit by a car
Q- How did Helen Keller get a concussion A-she kept on stepping on a rake
A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He wen't to his brother, who was playing with a superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered 'SUPERMAN!!!'. Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said 'in the barbie dream house! Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said 'Olé Olé Olé!!!'. The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!', the teacher boomed. 'Superman', the boy replied. 'WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!', the teacher continued. 'In the Barbie Dream House' 'GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!' 'OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!', the boy chanted on his was down the hall.
