Injury jokes

A bullet is like an arrow.

Nothing can stop it from going through your head.

I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?

He breaks his nose.

U die from robot bite.

What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast.

A man walks in a bar. Ouchie!

Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"

I gave my friend some paper. It cut his wrists.

What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?

You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"

If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...

Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.

OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.

What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?

A baby with a javelin in its head!

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half a cat.

I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!

I gave a blind person a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?

They're both crazy and now dead.