Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?
The finish line at the Boston marathon.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
“What happens to an Asian man when he runs into a brick wall with an erection?”
“A broken nose.”
What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
