Injury jokes

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.

The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.

What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?

The finish line at the Boston marathon.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.

Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.

"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""

"You stabbed my brother!"

"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"

My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"

What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.

I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️

Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!

A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.

And my driver's license got revoked too.

Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.

Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

Nothing, you told her twice.

The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."

What has two legs and is red all over?

Half a cat.

My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."

So I stabbed him.

Now we wait...

“What happens to an Asian man when he runs into a brick wall with an erection?”

“A broken nose.”

What's brown and hurts your teeth?

A chocolate?

No. A baseball bat in my hands.

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.