Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?
The finish line at the Boston marathon.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
“What happens to an Asian man when he runs into a brick wall with an erection?”
“A broken nose.”
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
