Injury jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.

I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"

Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!

I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.

I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.

What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?

Your mum.

Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.

Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?

A: Ow!

Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

I'll break your bones, b*tch.

Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?

Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.

Why did the ball person go to the doctor?

He was kicked in the balls.

What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.

Q: What's black and white and red all over?

A: A nun falling down the stairs.

When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.

Oof.

What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.

Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.