Injury jokes

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.

MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

I got shot once. Now I'm holey.

What happened when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Complete and utter destruction.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.

"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."

The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.

I gave my friend some paper. It cut his wrists.

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?

Because he fell off his wheelchair.

What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?

"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈

What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast.

Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?

Because her neck was killing her.

My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."

So I stabbed him.

Now we wait...

What part do people slit the most?

Everyone.

Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.

Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!

Rachel: Alright!

On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.

Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!