Injury jokes
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
I'm stumped.
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
Pov: your bleeding out from 5 bullets in your chest, but the robber touches the air fryer
A man walked into a bar...
Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
A woman walks into a bar and says, "Ow!"
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.
What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
Ahhhhhhh!
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.
L
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.
You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.