I gave a blind man a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
