Injury jokes

Cut.

Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?

Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?

What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?

... A boner.

Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.

What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?

They hit their nose on the wall.

I gave a blind man a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.

Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*

Friend: Are you okay?

Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!

An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.

What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.

What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.

Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?

Tj: Good... you?

Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!

Tj: 😏.

Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!

Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?

Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.

Tj: NO!!!!!!

1 day later.

Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩‍👧‍👦

When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.

Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.

I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.